I had a revelation last week, I don’t know why it has taken me this long but I suddenly realised why I always seem to be busy and never have feel like I have enough time to do fun stuff with my daughter.
It is because I’m a lone parent – bear with me, I know that every family has a full life, but I suddenly realised with only me doing the chores then it will of course take twice as long as a family with two adults in the home. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not assuming every two parent family has a charmed life and all chores are split 50/50, I know life isn’t like that, but if someone else can at least to do one chore then you all have that extra bit of time tucked away under your belt.
What surprised me was the force of the realisation – I was probably lost in the never ending laundry zone at the time – and why I had never connected the busyness with the feeling of never having enough time. I felt like a fool, my inner voice was giving it the full;
“Well DURRRRR of course you’re knackered and time poor there’s no one else here!”
What makes me sad is that it isn’t just my time that is stolen by the household tasks, it is my daughters. If my weekend is taken up with ballet class, the grocery shop, the cleaning, laundry and cooking there isn’t much time left for me and her to go out and do something more fun or simply have time to sit and listen to her read.
With the return to school I decided to try to do something to combat this for both of us, it is nothing big, simply sitting down with her for a cup of milk and a cuddle for half an hour when we get home from school. It gives us both time to unwind a little, do some reading and have a little quite time to ourselves before I have to get on again and make the dinner.
I am very aware that I know all the time spent working or doing household chores is time spent trying to make our family life run smoothly and that my daughter is at the heart of my thinking, but my daughter may not see it quite the same way. I dread her growing up thinking that mummy was always busy and never had time for her or that we never did fun stuff together, so I’m trying to snatch a little bit of time back from the laundry monster and washing up demons, not to mention those pesky untidying elves, to make sure my daughter knows that she’s the centre of her mother’s world.